28-year-old man and wife announce they are trying for a second child at birthday barbecue, have to request sister-in-law leaves after she a meltdown: 'She called my wife a golden child'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 17, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

There is no family on earth that doesn't have some complex dynamics going on within it. Whether there is a knotty relationship between parent and child or a rivalry between siblings, there is almost always a lot going on when you dig beneath the surface. 

While there are benefits to having sisters and/or brothers, even in the most stable of sibling relationships, there can be difficult moments. This doesn't just stop at squabbling as kids, either. Adult sibling relationships bring their own unique set of challenges, which are even more emphasized if there are other undertones at play.

One thing that some people find difficult is comparing themselves to their siblings when it comes to life milestones. If a close relative gets married or has kids before them, it can be taken hard and bring up other issues that have been bubbling under the surface. It is a lot to take in.

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  • One couple faced this issue when they announced at the wife's birthday barbecue that they were trying for a second child. Her sister got upset at this announcement and accused them of personally insulting her because of her own struggles with fertility. 

    The situation escalated to the point where the husband requested that she leave the party, leading some other family members to accuse him of being too harsh. He wanted to know if this was true.

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    Cheezburger Image 10506546176
    via Daniele La Rosa Messina

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for kicking my SIL out for the way she reacted to some news?

    My wife (f24) and I (m28) have been married for four years, we have a four year old daughter together. We live in the same city as my wife's family. Last month was my wife's birthday, but we couldn't celebrate because her grandmother got sick and sadly passed away that same week, so obviously neither her or anyone had the energy for a party. That's why I prepared a party for my wife last weekend, it wasn't anything very big, just a BBQ with family and close friends.
    via RelationshipKey4436
  • 03
    While we were eating dessert, my mother mentioned that our daughter has grown up a lot, we started talking about my daughter/children and my wife commented that we were trying for a baby since we want to have another child. Her sister got upset. She told my wife that it's gross that we would announce that (I don't see how it is gross tbh, it's very normal adult conversation imo) and she made a comment about my wife's and my private life which was uncomfortable for us. We get it, she's been havin
    via RelationshipKey4436
  • 04
    My wife told her that we're clearly not doing that, that we just want to share something important with our family. SIL replied by getting angry and saying that's not true, that we always want to rub it on her face because my wife always wants to be the center of attention while she gets cast aside and nobody feels empathy for her. She also called my wife a "golden child". She had gotten very angry and was attacking my wife, so I kicked her out, she really said a lot of stuff that hurt my wife's
    via RelationshipKey4436
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    Cheezburger Image 10506546688
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)
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    For the most part, people agreed that the husband had done the right thing.

    StAlvis NTA I prepared a party for my wife last weekend my wife always wants to be the center of attention while she gets cast aside and nobody feels empathy for her IT'S YOUR WIFE'S PARTY!
    via StAlvis
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    RelationshipKey4436 OP Yes, but she meant that my wife supposedly does this every time, although personally I think it's normal to want to share things about yourself when you're talking with other people
    via RelationshipKey4436
  • 08
    Patient_Host Oh ffs.. "it's ok for her to act like that because she's a woman". She behaved totally out of line and you were within your rights to ask her to leave. Was there alcol involved by any chance? That seems like the kind of blow up somone might have when they've been feeling bad/down etc about something then has a bit too much to drink. If so I'd speak to her when she was sober and let he know "I know you're going through a lot and I'm here for you/support you, and i want to be clear we
    via Patient_Host
  • 09
    doubledoublemc So... lemme get this straight. At your wife's birthday party, this lady twists a completely normal story about your children into how your wife is clearly mocking her about her lack of fertility and that nobody cares for her. Then she starts attacking her. At your wife's birthday party. Well, one part of that is true. No one cares about her. If she's gonna go around acting like that, nobody should. Girl needs therapy and a serious self reflection. If no one cares about you, why wo
    via doubledoublemc
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    xhevnobski NTA. She's an adult and should be treated as such. It's understandable she's in a fragile state as it sounds like she has fertility issues herself, but she needs to seek therapy for those issues instead of unhealthily internalizing them and lashing out at other people, especially on such a happy occasion.
    via xhevnobski
  • 11
    brattygio Grief doesn't give you a pass to be cruel. You handled it way better than most would've. The fact that people are mad at you instead of checking the one who blew up at a BBQ says everything about this family dynamic. Protect your wife first. Always.
    via brattygio
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    lamIrene NTA. It's not up to your SIL what info you share about your life. She's being weird about it and very inappropriate. She replied that she doesn't appreciate us rubbing our fertility in her face. Literally not what you were doing. Some of her family members have texted me these days to tell me off for the way I reacted at the party, They're mad because you protected your wife? LOL! You did exactly the right thing - stood up for your wife when her sister became unhinged. NTA for kicking h
    via IamIrene
  • 13
    Paid ToSmileAtPeople NTA. SIL is likely in a situation where her infertility has infiltrated every area of her life, consuming her thoughts, and coloring every action and reaction. Your wife's statement was filtered through all that and assumptions were made that put SIL on the defensive. That said, her assumption y'all dwell on her issues and are "rubbing it in her face" doesn't give her license to verbally attack your wife. Hurt people hurt people, so separating them was your best choice in th
    via PaidToSmileAtPeople
  • 14
    LavishnessGeneral NTA She disrespected you and your wife at your home, you had every right to kick her out.
    via LavishnessGeneral
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    princessjamiekay It really sounds like sister is the golden child. Everyone coddling her after she acted inappropriately
    via princessjamiekay
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    Jerseygirl2468 NTA she ruined your wife's birthday, at an already difficult time for the family. I can understand her feelings about her own fertility, but she can't stop everyone else from wanting and having children because she's having a hard time, and nothing you said was inappropriate. She was out of control, and asking her to leave was the correct thing to do.
    via Jerseygirl2468
  • 17
    Khahtt No, NTA Forget all the insecurity drama and that she is your sister. You had a guest, at your home, at a party for your wife saying inappropriate things about you and your wife. You told them it was inappropriate and unwelcome, and gave that guest the chance to settle down and they got louder/more inappropriate. You took the next step and removed them from the party. End of story. As a childless woman it makes no difference how much you understand or empathize with her. She, as an adult g
    via Khaht
  • 18
    TitanInTraining Sorry, but ESH. SIL s ks, is overly sensitive, making it all about her, and needs to regulate her emotions (especially at your wife's party). That said, I very much agree with SIL's unpopular opinion that telling people you're "trying" is gross and TMI. As normal as you think it might be, nobody wants to hear that your wife is taking all the rawdog loads you can muster in hopes of making another kid. Gross. Keep your sual escapades to yourselves, especially in front of family.
    via TitanInTraining
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    Entire_Reindeer8233 NTA the SIL seems to be the one who has to be the Centre of attention not your wife. Causing a scene at your wife's party is clearly a sign that everything has to be about her. She seems jealous of your wife's happiness
    via Entire_Reindeer8233
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    Worth-Evening-8221 NTA It sounds like SIL has a lot of resentment she needs to work through. It was your wife's moment and attention was on your wife because it is her birthday party. You may be a man and may not understand SIL's situation to a certain extent but you have full right to not want to be treated poorly. SIL can be hurting and that's valid but it isn't valid for her to hurt others. You do understand and care for her situation but she's not entitled to be r de to others just because s
    via Worth-Evening-8221
  • 21
    safbutcho "I always get cast aside." "How dare you. Leave now!!!" There's irony in there somewhere, eh OP?
    via safbutcho

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barbecue aita kids birthday infertility relationships parenting sister in law family sister reddit thread Reddit
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